A few things Rugby supporters can look forward to in 2014

With one eye on the year that was 2013, we look forward to a few things we might see in the world of rugby in 2014

  • Mark McCafferty will continue to try and destroy European Rugby

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    I come in peace to destroy everything……

  • The war of words between the WRU and the Welsh Regions will escalate in to all out combat. The Welsh Regions will ultimately be defeated when they realise all their troops are now fighting in France
  • Not content with signing Welsh players, French club owners will purchase all four of the Welsh regions
  • Mike Phillips will open a boozer in Paris
  • London Irish will appoint Roy Keane as new Head Coach drawing plaudits and tears from Michael Corcoran and Charlie Chawke
  • The IRFU will change the Irish national team colours to blue and gold, representative of the province from which the players originate from
  • Johnny Sexton will arrive in to the Irish 6 Nations camp with more miles on the clock and in worse condition then the Mirth Mobile. He lasts 20 minutes in the opening game against Scotland and is never seen again
  • Danny Cipriani will make his England return in the 6 Nations. After missing every kick and tackle in the opening game against France he will successfully lead his team to victory in the subsequent 12 pubs tour of Paris

    WalesRugbyRegions (1)

    2014 Fire Sale – Everything must go!

  • The Northampton Clown is unmasked and revealed to the public as one Dylan Hartley
  • Connacht will continue their impressive average win ratio of 1 in 12 to finish the 2013/14 season bottom of the Celtic League. They will however confidently state that 2014/15 will be the turning point…..
  • The IRFU will refuse to allow Jamie Heaslip and Sean O’Brien to negotiate directly with Leinster and react in disbelief when they are offered significantly more than the minimum wage in France
  • The All Blacks will be a surprise ‘Sepp Blatter Wild Card’ entry for the football World Cup in Brazil. After beating England in a penalty shoot-out they go on to win the tournament
  • Munster will win the 2014 Ploughing Championships
  • Rather than replacing Brian O’Driscoll, Leinster and Ireland will have him frozen and thawed out ahead of key games including all Celtic League, Heineken Cup, Autumn Internationals, 6 Nations and any game where there is no viable alternative. In other words, every game
  • Nespresso will become the main sponsors of the Celtic League. As league ambassador, George Clooney will be regularly spotted sipping lattes in the RDS and hitting Everleigh Gardens with the Kearney brothers

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    Coming to your rugby club in 2014???

  • Stephen Ferris will return to rugby only to be injured before his comeback game after running in to a changing room wall. The clash will ultimately see the wall retire
  • Gavin Henson will make another triumphant return to rugby signing for Zebre. Shortly after declaring his love for the club he is arrested in Parma city centre after drinking his own body weight in Moretti. After leaving Zebre without playing a game he signs on for the new season of ‘The Valleys’
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